The Song Within
110688
gemini

Tagboard

♥Archive
October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 September 2010
Sunday, December 13, 2009.
♥blogged by cherlyn on 11:24 PM.

When it's just not reciprocal, when people are standing on different grounds

Must've flooded this space with one thought(s) too many regarding this issue already, but somehow after so long, the tinge of sadness still overwhelms me occasionally.

I used to think and would still think that you are a special, close friend of mine. It pains to see that all those happy times we spent together, living together and never ending HTHTs have reduced to nought. This is especially significant when friends mean almost the world to me at that point in time.

Call me a sentimental emotional old fool, but I guess you just matter more to me, that's why it hits harder.

You seem to be leading your life really well, in a world where I don't exist and where the past has been diminished to just a mere flash of blurry unworthy happenings.

I would like to think and further affirm that I have given you more than enough and have provided you with whatever support I can, through ups and downs, good and bad times, and this might have led to the downfall, maybe.

It hurts, and maybe it would do me good if I just not reminisce and allow it to become part of a faded memory. Something to not ever be mentioned or thought of again. But, what do I say when friends start asking? Feign a smile or spill the truth? That we no longer are, cos of? Emotional vs Practicality? Just pure differences? Is it really? I don't even know it myself.

From now on I'll focus more on those who love me and those who put in effort to improve relations, will be much happier this way. But, if you look back, somewhere around you might still see me, at the same spot where you left me. If this is how it feels like losing a dear friend, gradually walking out of your world, I would rather choose not to know you in the first place.

The excessive intake of Chlorine from Scotts Royal Park has probably intoxicated my mind and cause me to dwindle into a state of emotional loss. It's time to sleep. 3.5h ahead of bed time

When I wake up it will be a brand new wonderful day again, just like always. =)


Just a sudden thought: I usually don't feel comfortable making my blog known to friends, even when they ask. Why is this so? Is this because this blog is a misrepresentation of me, a platform for all my wildest exaggeration, or does this blog truly reflect my well hidden and concealed thoughts and feelings, something beyond the sunshine, cheeful, bubbly ( I refuse to add bimbotic) exterior? You tell me. Ok I better hit the sack before I screw myself up.